You know that feeling that I often get, where I feel anxious but don’t know why? Maybe because there’s lots of things weighing on me in the back of my mind and so they just feel like a general worry, ‘in general’? Maybe if I write them down, they’ll be actually visible, and therefore less worrisome.
- Dogwalk. Like, holy hell, what if her dogwalk is ruined right now? Surely I can’t ruin it from one session where I made her do turns. What if we never get turns?! We’ll get turns, I just need to figure out how to train it. It can’t be ruined. It was one session. She is usually unfaultable. It will be ok.
- Stupid f–ing calf muscle injury flared up this morning. I hate being injured. Oh, the angries.
- Work is annoying me. Prep/1 is annoying me. Ugh, they’re so young. And also, what am I going to do next year? Do I change schools and have to deal with change? Do I stay at my school and deal with a long commute?! And why am I even thinking about it? It’s not even halfway through term 2! (Is it? Maybe it’s halfway through. I don’t know what week it is)
- I have to cook for myself and the house is a mess and I’m tired. And Lumen is annoying.
- Lumen is annoying, seriously, this deserves its own dot-point. I swear to god her chasing behaviour has gotten worse lately. She’s not even chasing anything any more, she just runs off as if she is. Things get worse before they get better… right?
- I feel like I have a lot of ‘stuff’ I need to do for the play class, and we’re onto making play work and work play and making her actually do stuff for rewards, and this is the bit she’s not so good at, so I feel sort of… intimidated… by the idea of this lesson and I know me, and I know that that means I won’t do anything at all… hiding is safer than trying. So I need to try. but that also means I need some equipment and time… neither of which is particularly easy right now.
- Oh! And Lu has decided that ‘cik’ actually means a rear-cross ‘tok’. Which I can work with, sometimes, but sometimes I just need you to turn to the right…
- What if they put a cloth tunnel in the course this weekend? Ugh.
Ok Now i’m just grasping at straws so maybe that’s all there is.
And hey, that’s not too bad, actually. See…. I knew there was a reason I wanted to make a list. Hopefully I’ll feel better after Saturday when she proves she can still do a running dogwalk without leaping off.