worries out loud

You know that feeling that I often get, where I feel anxious but don’t know why? Maybe because there’s lots of things weighing on me in the back of my mind and so they just feel like a general worry, ‘in general’? Maybe if I write them down, they’ll be actually visible, and therefore less worrisome.

  1. Dogwalk. Like, holy hell, what if her dogwalk is ruined right now? Surely I can’t ruin it from one session where I made her do turns. What if we never get turns?! We’ll get turns, I just need to figure out how to train it. It can’t be ruined. It was one session. She is usually unfaultable. It will be ok.
  2. Stupid f–ing calf muscle injury flared up this morning. I hate being injured. Oh, the angries.
  3. Work is annoying me. Prep/1 is annoying me. Ugh, they’re so young. And also, what am I going to do next year? Do I change schools and have to deal with change? Do I stay at my school and deal with a long commute?! And why am I even thinking about it? It’s not even halfway through term 2! (Is it? Maybe it’s halfway through. I don’t know what week it is)
  4. I have to cook for myself and the house is a mess and I’m tired. And Lumen is annoying.
  5. Lumen is annoying, seriously, this deserves its own dot-point. I swear to god her chasing behaviour has gotten worse lately. She’s not even chasing anything any more, she just runs off as if she is. Things get worse before they get better… right?
  6. I feel like I have a lot of ‘stuff’ I need to do for the play class, and we’re onto making play work and work play and making her actually do stuff for rewards, and this is the bit she’s not so good at, so I feel sort of… intimidated… by the idea of this lesson and I know me, and I know that that means I won’t do anything at all… hiding is safer than trying. So I need to try. but that also means I need some equipment and time… neither of which is particularly easy right now.
  7. Oh! And Lu has decided that ‘cik’ actually means a rear-cross ‘tok’. Which I can work with, sometimes, but sometimes I just need you to turn to the right
  8. What if they put a cloth tunnel in the course this weekend? Ugh.

 

Ok Now i’m just grasping at straws so maybe that’s all there is.

And hey, that’s not too bad, actually. See…. I knew there was a reason I wanted to make a list. Hopefully I’ll feel better after Saturday when she proves she can still do a running dogwalk without leaping off.

Hopefully.

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11 thoughts on “worries out loud

  1. All I can think is ‘Zoolander’ with the ‘Turn Right’ dot point…. And laughing.
    Let’s hope we are both smiling and laughing on Sat. Our 1st run will be before 8.30am so my start line stay worrying be early in the day. Bring on the fun… We do it for fun don’t we?

    • Em says:

      I must admit, I’ve never seen zoolander! So I’m sorry, the reference is lost on me.
      And yes, we do it for fun! And I’ll tell you what, I was really, really, looking forward to Saturday… until her RC went out the window. 😉 I never sort of ‘looked forward’ to running Mallei by the end – it was more a chore to get State Trial/Top Dog points. Which is such a crappy mindset. So, to look forward to the trial was really nice!

  2. Yes! Worry list helps me clear the brain as well. I’m glad you got it out.
    I hope this will not sound like rude or terribly pessimistic but over here it is quite expected that dogs who have RCs won’t hit them consistently for the first year of trialing. Some do, some don’t. Heck even Silvia’s Le didn’t.

    I feel you on the stuff to do for play class. I had a really hard time following the Conditioning class when stretching was introduced, since that’s the scariest thing for me. Actually I’m quite a bit behind because of it, but I did it! I started stretching! And my dogs still have all their limbs, nothing fell off. Hurrah!

    • Em says:

      Andreja, it doesn’t sound rude of pessimistic either – it’s actually really reassuring. Truly. Sometimes I forget she’s a baby, and gosh RC is hard isn’t it – like, how the hell has she figured out to adjust her stride and do what she needs to do? Isn’t that amazing? But it’s nice to know what it’s really, really normal that they won’t hit, means I can breathe a bit more, and be ok, and train turns without freaking out. I might have to flunk some runs (depending on how they go) to stay in Novice or Excellent for a while so that she doesn’t get hit with hard exits any time soon. 😉 (We only need 3 passes in Novice to move to Excellent, and 5 in Excellent to move to Masters).

      Isn’t it hard to do the stuff you find scary? And it’s so easy to make excuses to not do it. But I’ve done some of it! I did running to a static toy yesterday! And she did it! Fast! It was cool. She hates static toys.

      • Oh great 🙂 Yes it’s quite normal that DW performance fluctuates in the beginning though I know it’s hard not to worry when the dog misses. Since Ruby & I only had about 8 competitions total we never got out of that beginner stage but supposedly in time they become solid…
        Do you have to move to the next grade once you get all three passes? In Slovenia you don’t have to and some people choose to stay in A1 for a while before moving dog to A2.

        Yay for running to a static toy! And fast! Not my favorite exercise, either.

      • Em says:

        That’s nice to know, and will mean I’ll try and not freak out if she misses 😉 It’s just been such a long journey I guess – like, she was finally getting there, then her surgery, and then it was like going back 5 steps, and then she was all weird, and now she was finally getting it again…
        And yes, I’m pretty sure you have to move up, so people often ‘forget’ the course and they do an extra loop somewhere, or their dog ‘accidentally’ does the wrong end of the tunnel…

        Yeah we hate static toys. Except Loki. He doesn’t care. Everything is wonderful in Lokiworld. Is this what is means to have a BC??? I think I like them. 😉

      • Em says:

        So far today I had one awesome hit and one big miss. I’m just remembering Silvia’s DVD where she says that it’s ok to keep going with the course in a trial because they get it eventually. 😉 I verbally celebrated the good one at least. 🙂

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